Happy Ever After? A Practical Guide to Relationship Counselling for Clinical Psychologists

Bruce Stevens and Malise Arnstein

University of Canberra and Private Practice



Mary has brought Mark, recently returned from war service in Afghanistan, into counselling because of concerns for his gambling and how much it is costing the family. Is his military service playing some role in the increase in his gambling?

Kylie has a problem with her anger. Brett is threatening to leave if her aggression is not better contained. Is her irritability that of an untreated depression or perhaps the brooding anger of a borderline personality disorder?

Bettina is taking Lithium for bi-polar disorder and has just come out of hospital after a two-week admission related to her anorexia, and there is a need to closely monitor her weight. Natalie, her partner, is feeling highly stressed. She loves Bet, but feels overwhelmed be a responsibility to keep her alive. What support and guidance is best for Bettina?

Much relationship counselling today is conducted by generalist psychologists, social workers, and counsellors. Yet there is a strong case for a greater role for clinical psychologists. Accurate assessment during couples therapy is essential, the dynamics between people are complex, and the process is potentially very demanding of clinical skills. This book provides an opportunity to make the argument for greater involvement in relationship counselling by the clinical psychology profession and to guide both clinical students and practitioners toward an informed and integrated approach to relationship counselling, drawing on the best evidence-based treatments.

About the Author

Dr Bruce Stevens is an Associate Professor in Clinical Psychology and convenor of the Clinical Masters Program at the University of Canberra, Australia. He has over 20 years experience with relationship therapy in his private practice at Canberra Clinical and Forensic Psychology and has written a number of books including Regaining Intimacy, Mirror Mirror and Crossfire: How to survive giving expert evidence as a psychologist. Over the last 12 years he has given many workshops for professional development for the Australian Psychological Society. He is married to Jennie and they have four adult children.

Dr Malise Arnstein is a clinical psychologist and couple and family therapist in private practice in Canberra, Australia. She was the Director of Canberra Marriage Counselling Service for 6 years and helped establish the Domestic Violence Crisis Service in Canberra. She has provided short courses in couples' and sexual counselling to masters students at both the Australian National University and the University of Canberra, and has served on the Board of Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy for nearly two decades.

Table of Contents

  • Acknowledgments
  • Chapter 1— Introduction: Clinical psychology and relationship counseling
  • Chapter 2 — Historical perspective, including systems theory
  • Chapter 3 — The first interview and initial assessment
  • Chapter 4 — The assessment of the relationship, including conflict
  • Chapter 5 — Emotional processes underlying relationship conflict
  • Chapter 6 — The sexual affair
  • Chapter 7 — Sex therapy: The scope and the challenges
  • Chapter 8 — When personality disorder adds to relationship problems
  • Chapter 9 — Additional considerations: Different happy couples
  • Chapter 10 — Self-psychology and couples therapy: The building blocks for a focus on couple inter-affectivity
  • Appendix
  • Family-of-Origin scale
  • Endnotes
  • References